Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Couch surfing

Ways to spend your time when you're off work with a cold or flu.

1) Read a book and realise why you had that stack of books by the foot of your bed for so long, but you never had time to read. Realise that you actually have good taste, and know that it may be some time before you get the chance to read again (possibly even the next time you're sick).

2) Watch tv and become amazed at the number of things you notice. Such as how on Sky tv, they play the same 10 shows on constant repeat, from sun break to sun fall. Every day. The same as they did last year when you had a few days off and the same the year before last when you had a week off. You wonder if this constancy is resassuring or disturbing. If you don't have cable/sky tv, skip to 3.

3) Get so bored with tv that you leave it, the way our grandparents do, but put it on mute. So it's a bit like another person in the room, a background presence. No wonder old people believe in the beyond. Do something else.

4) At some point, start watching the muted tv again, watching the images flicker constantly, until you actually want to know what people are saying and it's a small relief to put the volume back on. Phew. Even if it is some fluff piece about Tom Cruise and his life/acting career and you actually don't believe people are being totally honest. Watch it for a bit and then think that was time well spent.

5) Start making lists. This is a great time. One of those things that's been on your to do lists for ages, hasn't it been? Well list making doesn't take too long and you can do it in your head if you want to go for the real minimal approach. No brainer. I preferred to perch my laptop on the living room coffee table and made semi-official ones. (Tip: don't do work if you're sick. You'll make a stupid mistake. It's inevitable)

Stuff I haven't made lists of but that you might want to consider: tv shows and films watched while sick, books read while sick, books ever read, countries you want to visit. Lists I've been half making in my head: friends I need to get back in touch with, stuff I need to ask people about, good quotes overheard from tv, catalogue of cold and flu symptoms. Important list: nearest and dearest who don't mind going to the shops for you or keeping you company during your ill period. Most important really.

6) These lists get me on to the next idea: text your friends. Hit the friends who are not at work as they're more likely to have more time on their hands. Best to leave friends at work alone unless you really want to annoy them. It does make you realise just how gratingly annoying those people who text or phone when you're at work - don't they know - time is money??? Well now it's payback time. Hit those people who text super early or ring really really late, drunk, just to ask how you are. You can tell them all about it.

7) Sleep on the sofa. Being trapped in the box of your bedroom is no good. Set up ship on the sofa, throwing down a ton of blankets, duvets, keeping one for yourself, and hopefully getting a few good views of neighbours comings and goings, housemate noises and the best sleep of your life.

8) Realise when you're not as well as you thought you were and accept defeat.

On that note, I'm going to rest up, maybe put in a film, make mental notes on filming and editing techniques from stuff from the 80s, and count down the hours.

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