Rule 380

Never:

• Call your imaginary film company One-Armed Bandit Productions without thinking of the full implications of this decision
• Laugh at your housemate when he breaks his leg in Estonia after jumping out of bed while drunk
• Offer to write your housemate's biography and say it will be called "Sleepwalking in Estonia"
• Laugh at your ex-boyfriend when he breaks his leg 4 weeks later after slipping on a wet step at a jazz club while drunk
• Say that people who've broken their legs while drunk "had it coming"
• Tell your ex-boyfriend "I hope you break your other leg!" even if he has been a complete asshole
• Use the word "crip" unless you're talking about the LA gang
• Dance at heights taller than your height
• ...........While drunk
• ...........Even if you do it all the time

I'm in pain and it's all my own fault. Maybe I should go see my GP now.