Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Rule 380

Never:
  • Call your imaginary film company One-Armed Bandit Productions without thinking of the full implications of this decision
  • Laugh at your housemate when he breaks his leg in Estonia after jumping out of bed while drunk
  • Offer to write your housemate's biography and say it will be called "Sleepwalking in Estonia"
  • Laugh at your ex-boyfriend when he breaks his leg 4 weeks later after slipping on a wet step at a jazz club while drunk
  • Say that people who've broken their legs while drunk "had it coming"
  • Tell your ex-boyfriend "I hope you break your other leg!" even if he has been a complete asshole
  • Use the word "crip" unless you're talking about the LA gang
  • Dance at heights taller than your height
  • ...........While drunk
  • ...........Even if you do it all the time
I'm in pain and it's all my own fault. Maybe I should go see my GP now.

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