Thursday, April 27, 2006

Tasteless jokes

I like jokes, but I have no talent at ever remembering them at opportune times. But I heard one at my course on Tuesday that made me laugh - mainly at the sad truth. (I'll explain why in a bit). Joke #1 A man and his son are driving down the A23 when the car flips and crashes. The man dies on the way to the hospital but the son is in critical condition and needs to be operated on. The surgeon comes in and says 'I can't operate on him - he's my son.' Why is that? The surgeon was his mother. The reason why it made me laugh, yet was saddened was because none of the all-female students or our tutor (a female) knew the answer. None of us ever considered that the surgeon could be a woman. Here's a REALLY TERRIBLE joke that I received by email. Joke #2 Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and arranging to have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious, underworld figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000 quid. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the quid as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local ASDA.There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath, and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared: "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT ASDA."


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