Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Day 3 - When you throw your good mood out the window

The righteous and smug should be shot. It's no easy feat changing your habits - living, thinking, or otherwise. For all us poor souls who struggle with our strange little flawed lives, it's life in the valley of the K-hole, without the K. Yesterday was decent. Spent a few hours meeting various friends in Costa Coffee, feeling utterly wiped out. At home I was bored and shifted listlessly between my bedroom, the kitchen and the conservatory. I only drank 2 glasses of wine, with my dinner, then enjoyed a nightcap of lime and camomile tea. My god. I'm only two steps away from wearing flannel pajamas and washing my hair on a Friday night. I've been taking cod liver and flaxseed oil tablets. I have no idea what they do, but since they're from Holland & Barrett, the health food shop, I figure I must be prolonging my life by another 50 years. Today I was a moody motherfucker. Luckily, I was surrounded by others who were more stressed and moody than I was, so that's ok. I really didn't feel like doing the positive thinking thing, although I did experience immense joy writing a review for last Saturday's Slackers and sticking that in the email post. Last night I dreamt I was going through my hair, pulling out all of the grey hairs. I don't really have any in real life. Someone on my course suggested I was contemplating my own ageing process. Hm. My thoughts are on my friend Darkly Scarlett, who phoned me last night. She's having all sorts of bureaucratic problems, which, by comparison, make my problems seem like those few strands of grey hair that I can just rip out and be done with. Ay caramba. My friend doesn't have any karmic baggage to deserve the shitty institutions and people's she's dealing with right now. I hope that the rewards she reaps in this lifetime are Donald Trump sized. I'm hopeful. I also think I've found the missing link, the thing that will solve all of my problems. A certain dealing with unfinished business (recent, not childhood!) that's been lurking in the background for some time. We'll see. Mood: Contemplative What I'm Listening to: "Get Kinky" - Plump DJs

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